In a game I refereed yesterday, during a stoppage in play while we were waiting for the ball to get collected and a corner to be taken players were appealing for offside:
Player: he was well off-side ref. Me: Ah that was an interesting one because there was a player in an off-side position but the player that headed the ball came through from an on-side position. See how I look after you lads. I even give you a commentary. Player: you should be on SBS.
3 players standing in an offside position (because the defense was playing the offside trap) not interfering with play, and all the defenders putting there hands up for offside, when an attacker from an onside position ran on to the ball and just missed from scoring.
Still the defenders demanded offside. And still these defenders are still learning about offside. And these guys are O35s.
My advice to them, very gently as they were over 35, was the same as yours Johnny.
Then the central defender said "so it's a free kick for offside not a goal kick?"
Gee these guys will never learn. I had to smile. All in good fun.
Maybe they might learn offside by the time they play Over 45s.